Let’s talk about our support system.
Our village. The people in our lives that are available to help us as we navigate this thing called motherhood.
It can sometimes feel like we have no one.
Lonely. Left to do it all on our own. Maybe we are experiencing depression and need someone to help around the house. Or maybe we are so anxious that we don’t want help with the baby, we just need someone to sit with us, to be with us.
Finding your support system, those people who can help you with different aspects of motherhood, is the task at hand.
Here’s a tip: find the right person to lean on for the right task.
Read that again. Find the right person for the right task.
What I mean by this is simple, but we often have a hard time doing it. It requires a little more thinking and planning, but I promise, it will benefit you.
So, let’s think about the person we are closest with as an example. Our partner, our mother or father, maybe it’s a close friend. We may think we can ask this person to help with anything and everything. Chores around the house, help with baby, emotional support.
But, that might not be effective.
Our partner may not be the best option for emotional support. Often times, our partners want to “fix” us. To make us better as fast as possible. And maybe we just need someone to sit with us. In this case, it might be better to reach out to a different person. See, right person for the right task.
You might find more emotional support in a support group, or being paired with one of our Mom Mentors.
And now let’s look at household chores. You may think your best friend wouldn’t mind coming over to clean the house, but really he or she would be better at picking up groceries for you, or holding the baby while you sleep. And asking your grandmother to help with the baby may not be as helpful as asking her to send you a pack of diapers.
Let’s practice.
Make a list of the people in your life that might be able to help in ANY way. Then, write out what you think they would be best at helping with. This can be a neighbor, a friend, family, a medical professional, or even a pastor, teacher, or a local nonprofit organization.
Delegate those tasks, but mindfully! I know this takes some more time, but delegate tasks to those who can execute the task without causing you more stress.
You can do this, mama. And we are here to help.