You didn’t choose to feel the way you do.

You didn’t choose to feel sadness constantly, or fear all the time.

You imagined that having a baby would be the happiest time of your life. A new beginning, a time to celebrate. And it just didn’t work out that way. But let me tell you one thing, mama.


This is not your fault in any way.

You are being pulled in a million different directions. You’re touched out, tired, stressed – just not yourself. You miss the old you. You feel alone with these feelings.

But mama, let me tell you again. You are not broken.

Your needs are not being met. Basic needs, yes, but also your emotional needs – those things that used to make you happy. All you know right now is “mom”.

You are consumed by motherhood. Morning, noon and night (especially at night). You are doing everything in your will to raise your baby the best way possible. You are doing such a good job, too.

And again, you are not broken. You might be struggling right now, but deep inside, you are still there. You are still whole.

In order to be able to see that whole person again, you need to put yourself first. I encourage you to make a list or jot down some ideas of what these needs might be. Think outside of motherhood. Think about the woman that you are and what she really needs.

You may choose time to yourself where you can read a book or go on a walk. You may choose uninterrupted time with your newborn to bond and rest. You may choose to have a session with your therapist or join a support group to meet other moms.

Remind yourself that you matter, and what you are going through right now does not mean you are broken. It means you are a caring, hardworking mama that needs support.

Reach out for that support.

And know that you are not alone in this process.

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