‘Tis the season. The hustle and bustle. The planning, the hosting, the gifting. Whatever holiday you are celebrating, you know the routine.
As mothers, we are the magic. Sure, we might have a little bit of help from our loved ones, but I’m going to stand up for us all and admit: We make it all come together and it’s not always easy. Throw a mental health concern in the mix and it might be near impossible.
There’s so much pressure during the entire month of December to do all of the things, attend all of the events, and buy all the presents. We want to make it the most magical holiday for our little ones – a day that they will remember.
There are many blogs out there about the holidays and the magic. You can find a list of the best gifts, an article about the most tasty treats and even a calendar of events that are happening around town this month.
This blog is about you, mama.
Throughout this month, I want you to think about things you can do for yourself. They can be little or big, free or expensive. Think of things that you really enjoy and do them. Make time for them, put them on the family calendar, and commit to yourself.
Yes, tangible gifts are lovely and I highly encourage you to buy gifts for yourself (or send links to buy them online to your loved ones – a hint never hurts!). But sometimes, we need more than tangible gifts. Here are a few ideas that you can use, but I encourage you to find what is best for you.
3 Gifts to Give to Yourself this Holiday Season
1. Grace
If you’ve ever had a chat with me about motherhood, you know that I always remind moms to “give yourself grace.” Easier said than done, but this is a practice in self-compassion. It’s not easy to forgive yourself or remind yourself that feelings are part of being a human. Talk to yourself as if you were your best friend – you are doing your best as a mom and that is enough.
Websites for Self-Compassion
- https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/self-compassion/self-compassion-exercises
- https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-exercises-worksheets/
- https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/
Podcast for Self-Compassion:
Books for Self-Compassion:
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Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Kristin Neff, William Morrow Paperbacks, 2015
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Fierce Self-Compassion: How women can harness kindness to speak up, claim their power, and thrive. Kristin Neff, HarperCollins Publishers, 2021
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The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive. Kristin Neff, Guildford Press, 2018
2. Acceptance
Sometimes we find ourselves in really tough situations. Like, really really tough. Maybe we don’t have enough money for all of the presents, or maybe our mental health is so dabilitating that we can’t decorate the house. Finding acceptance for these things in our life isn’t easy, but once we accept what is, it’s easier to heal.
One way of acceptance is putting down judgement, and to do this, we have to stop ourselves from comparing our lives to others. Put down the social media and put up the boundaries- your mental health matters and comparing your life to other’s is unhelpful. This is YOUR life and you are allowed to live it any way you want.
Websites about Acceptance:
- https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-build-self-acceptance-activities-exercises/
- https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/radical-acceptance/
- https://portlandpsychotherapy.com/mindfulness_and_acceptance_exercises/
Books about Acceptance:
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
3. Time
How in the world can I gift myself time? I know, seems impossible. But what I want you to focus on is making time for the things that you really enjoy. Even if it’s just a few moments a day, carve out time for YOU. This can be lighting your favorite candle and smelling it, buying your favorite snack or drink from the store, scheduling time on the calendar for some exercise or dates with friends, or baking your favorite holiday treat. You deserve time for you.
One way to be able to carve time out of our schedule and use it wisely is to narrow down our values. Working on our values and knowing what is important to us as individuals (and as a family!) can help you find activities that speak to your heart.
Websites on Values:
Mama, you deserve to be the reciever of gifts this holiday season, not just the one to give them. Write these three gifts down in a place that you will see them often this month and remember, you matter too.