Pregnancy and Postpartum Emotions After a Loss: Resources and Support for Pregnancy Loss

by | Jul 14, 2024 | Loss, Moms, New Moms, Postpartum Anxiety, Postpartum Depression, Support

Loss is loss.

I want to start this blog off with that phrase because I want all moms to know that their feelings are valid. A loss at 8 weeks is a loss. A loss at 27 weeks is a loss.

And we all grieve differently.

Some moms have a more difficult time through this process of grief, and that can carry over into all subsequent pregnancies.

Let’s start with some statistics.

1 in 4 mothers will lose a baby during pregnancy, delivery or infancy (Star Legacy Foundation).

But these moms are more than just a statistic. More than just a number. The grief process of losing a baby has no end date – we aren’t getting over a loss.

I put this statistic in here just to let you know that loss is so common. So many mothers and families are going through loss of a baby – sometimes with support and sometimes all alone.

Know that you are not alone, though. At the bottom of this article, I’ve posted resources that might helpful if you are experiencing loss.

Pregnancy after a loss

I want to hold space for moms here who are pregnant or postpartum with a rainbow baby. Carrying and having another baby after a loss can come with so many emotions, and all of them are valid.

As I was talking to Amy Martin, LPC today on Matters of Motherhood Sunday (M.O.M.S.) Chat on our private facebook group, we were talking about the experience of being pregnant after a loss and the anxiety that a mom can experience.

It’s a different kind of anxiety. Many times, when we have anxiety, we are worried about things that might never happen or haven’t happened in the past. But with loss, it’s a valid concern. It’s anxiety about something that actually happened in the past and has affected us in a huge way.

And the guilt. The guilt that we aren’t supposed to be happy, the guilt that we might be excited about this pregnancy when we lost one in the past that was so difficult.

Just know that any emotions you have are valid.

Your feelings matter and anything you are feeling is YOUR journey.

Postpartum after a loss

Similar to the pregnancy after loss, moms can experience anxiety when they bring their newborn home if they’ve had a loss in the past. We can be hyperaware of our baby’s safety and health and feel protective, concerned and on edge about the experience of raising a newborn.

And again, that guilt can set in. And even more, we can feel like we aren’t allowed to struggle. Being a new mom is so hard, the hardest job there is, and if are having a tough time, we quickly invalidate ourselves. We shouldn’t be feeling stressed, we should be thankful. But really, we are allowed to feel.

You’re human – you can feel any way you want to about your life and your loss.

Reach out for support

First thing is first – you don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to grieve in isolation. Of course, you are allowed to grieve in any way that is helpful for you, but there is support if you need it.

Talking about what we are going through, with someone who will be able to hold space for you, is key.

Below are resources for ways that you can find support. As always, don’t hesitate to reach out for one-on-one or group support – we are here for you.

You are not alone, mama.

Call Now Button