We all know what boundaries are. Possibly the most difficult thing about a relationship (at least for me – I’m a people pleaser).
I want to talk about boundaries that we define as the rules that we have set for ourselves regarding our relationships with others.
And this time of year, I think it is critical to talk about these boundaries and how important they are to set for ourselves. Our family may be asking so much of us right now – to visit, to buy presents, to go to holiday events. And that might not be what we want to be doing.
So, let’s rewind a minute and think of boundaries like a sports games. You have to keep the ball in play within the boundaries in order to keep the game going. If the ball goes out of bounds, the game stops.
Although life isn’t quite a game, I think the analogy works well when we are thinking about how to keep our life in balance and stay mentally healthy. In order to keep ourselves from feelings of resentment and anger (stopping the game), we have to stick to the boundaries that we set with others.
We can set boundaries with anyone, even our closest loved ones. We can set boundaries around time spent with a person, topics discussed in conversation, even actual physical boundaries if we want to keep our distance.
But setting boundaries can be difficult.
It’s not a simple task to tell our loved ones that we need to set boundaries. Sometimes it can result in anger from them or guilt on our part. But this is your life, mama. You get to do what is best for you and your little ones. And setting boundaries will eventually feel better than the resentment that is felt without the boundaries.
Take a moment before the holidays arrive and write down what boundaries you want to set. Tell your partner or a loved one so they can help you keep those boundaries. Know that you are doing this for your own mental health, which is the most important thing in your life. You matter.