To friends and family, you may look like you are doing better than you feel.
You may appear as though you are transitioning into motherhood well but on the inside you are anxious, depressed, overwhelmed and/or full of worry and regret. You may be questioning your ability to be a good parent and the decision to start a family. You may be smiling on the outside all while having these emotions and feelings because you are worried what others will think if you ask for help or talk about how much you are struggling.
You have a newborn, you should be happy right?
Your loved ones will be supportive. They want to help you along this journey.
You may not feel comfortable sharing with everyone but chose a few people you can trust and know will be supportive and talk to them about how you are feeling and what they can do to help. I promise, they really do want to support and help you.
5 tips for talking with your support system about your mental health
1) Find a way to communicate with your loved ones, whether it is done face-to-face or virtually by text message, email or phone. Also, find the time of day that you are able to sit down and communicate for a few minutes and not be disturbed. Do what is most comfortable for you in communicating your needs.
2) Practice what you want to say, take some notes, write it down or whatever you need to ensure that you are saying what you need and want to say. Under pressure we can forget what we want to say or forget key points. This will make it easier to have this conversation, especially if it is one that you are uncomfortable having with a loved one.
3) Discuss with your loved one about the difficulty of this transition, the unexpected changes and adjustments and maybe even how it was not what you expected it to be.
4) Describe how you are feeling and thinking during this transition and how it has been affecting you. Try to explain, as best you can, how you are doing emotionally and physically. This is helpful for your loved ones to know so that they can support you as best they can.
5) Discuss ways your loved ones can support you. That support is going to look different for everyone. Maybe you want someone to hold the baby for you to shower or nap, clean the house, do the laundry, make meals or run errands. Remember your loved ones do want to help but sometimes do not know how to help, so letting them know exactly what you need will allow them to be the most helpful and support they can be.
Remember, you can always count on us to listen to what you are going through. We can help you find the strength and words to talk to your support system if you feel lost. You are supported, mama, and it’s okay to ask for help.