February is upon us, mamas. And you know what they means – love is in the air.
But, I don’t want to talk about the romantic love that is often associated with Valentine’s Day. I want to talk about love in general – the love that we give ourselves, the love we have for our babies, and even the love that we have for our friends and family.
When we, as moms, are going through some tough mental health concerns, we often lose the drive to find and embrace love. All things may seem too hard to handle – we may not enjoy what we used to enjoy, or we may be too mentally exhausted to even try. But relationships are at the core of our human experience – we thrive in them. So, even when it feels tough, remember that love can help. Love can bring you to those people who will help support you. Because you deserve support, mama.
This month, we will go through these types of “love” relationships. We will have some great guest authors this month to talk about these topics, so hold onto your hats, it’s gonna get real.
Today, I want to take a step back and look at this word “love.” What does it mean to love? Obviously, this is a personal topic – everyone has a different love language, but I think we can all agree on the basics of love. And for me (you know how much I love acronyms), I wanted to make it easy to remember and fun, so here we go.
L.O.V.E
L – L stands for listening.
In my opinion, you can’t love someone if you aren’t willing to listen to their words. Not obey, but just listen. Think about it – you can’t love someone without knowing who they are, knowing what they like and don’t like, hearing their stories. You can’t love yourself without listening to your true, inner wants and needs. Listening is key in any relationship, and the more we can listen, the more we can love.
O – O stands for opening up.
In any relationship, you have to be able to open up and be honest. Especially with yourself. This is similar to listening, but this one takes time and more effort. Being true to yourself and true to others about yourself is what opening up is all about. Telling people what it is that you want and need, and opening your heart to receive those needs is crucial.
V – V stands for values.
We all have them – values are those core beliefs that you have that shape your life. In order for us to be able to truly show someone love, we must first think about our own values. And we all have them – we value time with family, or time alone. We value our faith or our life-style. We can even value authenticity (going back to opening up, yeah?). We have lots of values, and being able to share those values with someone can be at the core of love. We don’t have to have the same values, but we must be able to accept someone’s values as part of who they are.
E – E stands for Endure.
Love endures, and when I think about this phrase, I remember that I don’t always have to enjoy the relationships that I’m in to still have love for that person. Take, for example, when your little baby is crying, has been crying for hours, and nothing you can do is soothing them. You may be frustrated, annoyed, angry even – but you still love that baby. Love is strong, just like you, mama.
Take this acronym into your month – remember these words and let them help guide you through your relationships. Next week, we will be diving into the relationship that you have with yourself.
And remember, we are here for you, mama, even when you feel like you may not have much love to give or receive, we are here to support you.